Run, Wildly, Because You Can
The biggest change in my life, that I’ve always yearned for, has been the most difficult.
I’ve always had a longing for travel, but merely stuck to a vague plan. Once I’ve made this planned dream into an organized reality, the riveting feeling I felt when booking flights and housing arrangements soon waned, rather, plummeted.
In general, I do obtain a “good” support system…when I do things according to their “plan” or what they’ve hoped for me. For years, possibly almost as long as I can remember, I’ve done things for others as I handed out every last bit of myself always wondering why I felt so emptied.
Now that I’ve completely changed my life in a way where I’m the one that’s comfortable and content, it’s made others, that are used to my conformity, uncomfortable.
For the past few months, I’ve had guilt, everything that will go wrong, where and why I’m wrong, and all else in between shoved down my throat for choosing this path of wandering.
I’ve been trying (what seems like my hardest) to be understanding and patient with these individuals because I know it’s coming from a place of care and fear of the unknown…Another thing I’ve learned over the course of the past few months is that when people are fearful, they can really say some hurtful things.
Though, up until this point, I’ve been able to roll with the punches, as I succeeded in doing rather well.
Being merely hours from my departure into the next chapter of my life, I feel as if I’m at my breaking point.
It’s important to be understanding and changing our perception of how we view others and their actions/words, but I also think it’s important to know, undeniably, our limitations.
Today, I have met limits.
I absolutely love and adore those I have in my life, but I have nothing left here anymore. If I stay any longer, I’ll lose myself trying to make excuses for people who can’t come to terms with what makes me happy. If I conform once more into their desperate wishes for me to stay, I’ll live the rest of my days in a daze of what if.
There is nothing left for me here anymore. I must go, I must run…because I can, because I will, and because it’s my turn to give parts of myself to someone who I’ve neglected a majority of my life…the woman in the mirror.
If you’re not running wildly towards your dreams, you’re chasing the wrong things.
And when you do decide to live up to your potential and actually live in lieu of adhering to mere survival, remember this: never, ever listen to those who tell you that you are wrong for doing what makes you happier, kinder, and grow. Different doesn’t mean wrong.
