Reality Turned Daydream
What makes life rich and how to live your wildest dreams
Everyone you meet always asks if you have a career, are married, or own a house as if life was some kind of grocery list, but no one asks if you’re happy. -Heath Ledger
Residing in an advanced countryside, full of greenery, endless venture, and even more ceaseless rows of colored housing, I live my daydream of awaking beside the love of my life, ready for another day of growing in love and caring for our baby dalmatian.
I bask in the morning sun claiming my skin as its own home of warmth, as I harvest fresh fruits and vegetables that I’ve planted months prior.
Within crisp afternoons, I spend my time writing to my heart’s content — a pouring of passion to paper — sewing unique clothing to our own uniqueness, molding clay as plates for our meals fruitful in flavor, and painting as a cleanse of mind and heart.
My evenings are ceaselessly prominent of the one I love, and perhaps always have loved, losing ourselves within a passionate sea of harmony, solace, compassion, and intimacy.
*insert daydream-exit warp*
I woke up one morning and decided this was going to be my life.
Perhaps there’s holes and differences, but I’m the closest to living my daydream rich in abundance as such as I’ve ever been.
I’m certain that the first thing that may pop into your mind when asked what makes life rich? is money, though when I say rich, I’m not merely speaking of fortune, but something far greater: fulfillment.
One of my favorite (of many) scenes in Walk the Line is when Johnny Cash has his family over for dinner in his new home and his dad says that even though Johnny is a rockstar, living in a grand house, living his wildest dreams, he’s also a pill-popping big shot, that barely sees his kids, with an empty house, and a fancy tractor stuck in the mud, claiming that in reality, Johnny Cash has nothing.
As if luxury has nothing to do with money, fame, or material items.
(If you have yet to see this movie, I recommend it ceaselessly!)
And we all know that money doesn’t buy happiness, yet we still drain ourselves chasing the next dollar because we think it’d be better to cry in a Lamborghini than elsewhere.
It’s witty, and frankly, whoever said this has a point that I can meet halfway.
Though when I’m in a rut, struggling against life’s hardships, my first thought is, I wish I had someone here to comfort me and support me through this, or I wish I was somewhere I felt safe.
More often than not, I find myself struggling most against life’s hardships when I’m imbalanced — perhaps I’ve spent too much time in solitude, I forgot to eat breakfast after a restless night, or I haven’t spent enough time doing things that fill me with love.
What makes life rich, as I see it, is having the ability to fulfill our most basic, fundamental needs for survival, and frankly, sanity.
Our most basic needs, according to Rick Hanson, PhD in psychology, are connection, satisfaction, and pleasure — the three horsemen of a content life.
And all of which we must continuously fulfill on a consistent basis, otherwise we lose stamina.
Connection is obtaining those who we connect with most in our lives on various levels and during diverse times of need.
This need can be fulfilled by a close family member, significant other, and/or from friendships.
Satisfaction is our basic needs for mere survival, met by a significant supply of food, water, shelter, a place to sleep, and clothing.
And pleasure is akin to hobbies/engagement — the little things that bring us joy such as hiking, riding a bike, painting, sewing, dancing, cooking, travelling, animals, comedy, etc.
I feel as if it’s become more and more difficult to fulfill all three of these needs in a healthy manner simply because we become distracted and neglect such necessities for self-destructive and/or artificial fillers.
If you often feel imbalanced and unmotivated, I’ve written a couple pieces to help fulfill such basic needs on a daily basis here and ways to remain motivated in day-to-day life here. ❤
Even if/when we have all three of our needs met on a constant basis, we, as humans, tend to desire more than just the basics.
Perhaps we desire a significant other to fulfill our need for connection, a colorful vintage house in the countryside for satisfaction, and a spacious crafting room for pleasure.
Okay, maybe that’s just me, but we all daydream and yearn!
Daydreams and desires as profound are healthy in a sense of providing motivation if used properly with flexibility and imagination, though, can easily cross over the line to insidious if too narrow of a desire, as we may lose appreciation for the present entirely.
How to Live Your Wildest Dreams
Connection
As current time would have it, my need for connection is fulfilled by various family members, depending on my need within connection.
For example, if I need someone laugh with and remember to take life less seriously, I spend more time with my brother, and if I need relatedness/advice, I spend time with my sisters; my entire need for connection is rarely satisfied by one person, which is where my desire to obtain a significant other always flourished.
Though, overtime, I realized it’s unfair to expect a single person to take on an entirety of any of our needs as they have their own to attend to as well.
And to risk sounding completely clichéd, I began seeking complete connection with the [wo]man in the mirror.
What I lacked in connection with those around me was vulnerability and intimacy, and when I sought it from myself, I was terrified; it was an ugly process to understand and persevere through to say the least…
I had to accept my flaws and imperfections, understand why I am and where my character flaws stemmed from, I had to practice seeing the best in myself, practice healthier self-talk — all in all, I had to be open with myself of my fears within vulnerability and exercise being comfortable with discomfort and imperfection entirely.
In turn, while working on a deeper connection with myself, I’ve strengthened the connections around me, including with my parents (something I never thought possible).
I still daydream of a silver knight, but instead of wanting to be saved, I desire simply to share the love I obtain within and grow within said romance as one.
Satisfaction
Where I currently reside is humbled to a mere bedroom until further notice, though, faces a grassy field and rows of trees where countless birds take leisure (some love birds just moved into one of the greater trees and fills me of endless serotonin every time I see their vibrant colors swaying in the wind and hear their distinct chatter to another!)
The housings along the back landscape are more modern and earth toned, unfortunately.
Though, I recently painted a picture filled of colorful vintage houses as in my daydream and pinned it to the wall near my window, not merely for daydreaming, but motivation as well.
I’ve also made a Pinterest board for my future home (hopefully that will come sooner than later) of what will make it feel most as a home than simply a house.
Another thing I do to live my daydreams while work towards them is deliberately select my produce at the grocery store; it sounds simple and vague, but truly fills me of joy in the easiest way.
Prior, I’d just take whatever was on top, convenient, or eye level.
Putting care and passion into seeking and “testing” the fruits and veggies helps me also put the same love into cooking, as I would by living my dream of having a garden of self-grown produce!
Also humbled to a mere medium-sized pot, I will soon be planting cucumbers and spinach for the cooler months ahead!
Perhaps I’ll try planting mint again as well…I attempted in the summer, which, sadly, didn’t last more than two hours in the passionate heat.
R.I.P. Mindy…yes, I named my mint Mindy.
Pleasure
I feel as if pleasure is the easiest to duplicate, as everything we need for it is, a majority of the time, at our fingertips.
In regard to activities for pleasure, I enjoy cooking, nature, writing, painting, sewing, and pottery.
The first few are a bit easier to incorporate into reality for me simply because I have all the tools needed for them.
As for sewing and pottery, I currently don’t own a sewing machine nor much space to engage with sewing, nor do I have much space for a pottery wheel and kiln…though, I do take time to watch sewing videos for lessons, seek inspiration for when the time is right, and practice with small hand-sewing projects.
I also use oven-bake clay to practice using my hands this way as well…and of course, I have a Pinterest board of everything I wish to create with clay!
I don’t have someone to call my destined lover, I don’t live in an advanced countryside (nor have my own home for that matter), I don’t have a grand garden, fruitful in fresh ingredients, and I don’t have a spacious craft room to create to my heart's content, but I have something fairly equal: self-love and appreciation to share with those surrounding, inspiration, motivation, and imagination.
The most luxurious things in life don’t have a price tag, and you have them too.
