Material Items
When is it enough?
The first step in solving a problem is admitting you have one, so here is mine; my absolution if you will.
One cold December day, I stumbled upon the greatest outfit I’ve ever seen on Pinterest; without hesitation, I went out to match it as perfectly as I could.
Thus, began my love for clothes of all styles, colors, and fabrics, which soon (thanks to Pinterest) became a draining desire in various ways.
At first, it wasn’t too impactful of a passion as I’d scavenge my favorite thrift stores for clothing items — an enlightening adventure in itself.
Though, if I couldn’t find a similar match to what I’d been shown on Pinterest, I’d seek elsewhere, and if I still, then, didn’t find a close match, I’d give in to the stores linked on the initial outfit itself.
And these were always the kind of stores that had nothing below the 30-dollar range.
As Cady Heron in Mean Girls put it, “I became a woman obsessed” as my credit card shown my gateway to pure bliss…at least until I saw another cute pair of jeans and its matching top I just oh, so needed.
What kick-started an inspiration to obsession was when I realized how much black and mere t-shirts I wore.
I desired a wardrobe more of variety and more of what I felt my happiest self in wearing.
I soon purged my closet leaving myself with what brought me to this goal, which was great for a while…until I became bored wearing the same things day in and out.
It’s safe to say that I still had much to learn when it came to minimalism.
I thought to myself, Maybe a few more colors would do.
And then I thought, Perhaps some varied patterns of jeans to even it out.
When I got my credit card statement that month, I then thought, Okay, this is a problem. I have enough, no more.
The following month, my credit card bill was even higher than before.
The other day, I went to Target out of boredom “just to look,” pretending it was like an art museum…
I told the cashier this was my plan when she asked if I found everything okay, as to she replied, “Ya, those are the most expensive Target trips.”
She wasn’t wrong, not even a little.
Writing that makes me feel like I’m Isla Fisher in Confessions of a Shopaholic when she goes to a group session for shopaholics anonymous.
And what began my weakness within my visit to said art museum? Finding the exact same stripped pants that I’ve searched high and low for that I fell in love with on Pinterest.
Which lead me to find a couple shirts that had to go with them, but I restrained myself from getting the cowgirl boots, so there’s something to be proud of; yee haw!
Soon after, I received a shirt I ordered off Pinterest in the mail…and that became my wake-up call.
Completely related, I promise, but some months back, I went to an aquarium with my family that had a giant tank of baby jellyfish, which soon became my new favorite sea animal.
The [overpriced] shirt I bought from Pinterest is a beautiful teal color, semi-sheer, with twirly jellyfish-like details flowing to my legs.
I could not find anything remotely close, so I had to have it.
With all the clothes I’d spent more than enough money on as such, I became cautious, which I did not like.
I was afraid to drop food on them, I didn’t want to hold my niece (a one-year-old corgi) in fear of getting a tear or dirt on it…in all honesty, I didn’t feel like myself, nor relaxed.
Soon after, I began to question why I couldn’t stop.
Why do I keep feeling this need to always buy?
Then it dawned on me like a white pair of bloomers I’ve been wanting on a sale rack: I’d merely been telling myself that I had enough, which, subconsciously, was reinforcing to myself that it wasn’t.
To get this thought of having enough through my skull, I had to also act as if it was enough.
I thought I’d never say this, but I’m so eager for cooler weather.
Arizona summers are as if living in an oven, demanding innovation to be able to enjoy the season, which I’ve been trying my best to do, but I really do miss hot coffee, sleeping with layers of blankets, and being able to enjoy nature for more than 30 minutes.
Since my newly upgraded wardrobe contained appropriate winter clothes, I decided to fulfill my daydream of uplifting days by trying them all on, seeing what styles I could come up with for the cooler months ahead.
I played some random shopping playlist I found on Spotify and pretended like I was in some 2000’s-girly-movie montage.
It was actually a lot of fun, and I highly recommend.
As I changed from out to outfit, I realized what I missed when attempting my hand at minimalism: innovation.
In that moment, I was able to truly see and feel that what I had was (finally, and perhaps always was) enough.
One of my greatest dreams is to make (or grow) everything I own (well, an abundance of things I own) from scratch — plates, mugs, maybe pillows, my food, my ingredients, etc. — I recently made some coasters from clay; painted them as a lime and a dragon fruit, and such creating brought my heart so much joy.
And since my newfound love of clothes (and a new pair of pants I’ve fallen in love with yet again from Pinterest), I’ve been broadening my interest and curiosity into sewing; a craft room of various fabrics, clay, paints, and threads are what I daydream of daily!
