I’m Engaged
I’m at that age where whenever I visit with any of my family members, the subject of me finding a “good guy” is always brought up.
Moreover, It’s possibly the highlight of my mom’s mind daily. Whenever we are out together and a guy that appears remotely close to my age group walks by, she looks at me and says, “do you like him?” Never fails, every time. I don’t understand the fascination (possibly obsession) that individuals from the older generations have with marriage, more specifically having it done within a certain time frame. As stated a few times, I’m almost twenty-four…in about eleven days to be exact. I fear what I have coming for me is endless set ups with blind dates and hour long presentations on why he would make a great husband.
There is a trend within my current generation that is obvious; the obsession to be constantly digitally connected. Don’t get me wrong, I love posting aesthetically pleasing Instagram pictures and scrolling on Pinterest as well. But I can most confidently say that my interest has waned over the past few months. A rough estimate here, but I’d say about 90-95% out of a month, I do not have the Instagram app downloaded on my phone. Pinterest is a different story, though, because I mainly use it for cooking in lieu of a platform. I’m not in any way saying I am better than anyone in my generation or should be praised for my choice with what is given and I am not attempting to make others out to appear as horrible people because of their choices either. My point is that I wish to engage life for what it is truly and authentically, not as a synthetic version that is created for show. As for myself, I see being with someone who wishes to engage with life authentically as well.
I’ve seen marriages where one, if not both, is/are unhappy because the other is so glued to a screen and fixated on everything other than what is right in front of them. That is my generation. I refuse to settle. And I am starting to feel as if those who are pushing for me to find someone believe that I should settle and toss aside my happiness to conform to the “norm.” For so long, I’ve tossed aside my happiness to “fit in” to what society asks of me, but not anymore and never again. To be clear, though, I’m not so much trying to rebel at all costs, but to cease the conformity on my end and follow the path that makes me most content.
I am more than open to getting to know someone on a deeper level when the time is right. There have been times where I felt that there may be a potential for something to grow between me and someone else (previously), but life happens; things don’t work out, one loses interest, one cares more than the other, etc. I have feelings as all human beings do and I refuse to settle for someone who doesn’t make my heart soar. I refuse to live a life and neglect myself of such a wonderful sentiment just to conform with a society that feels more comfortable if a woman is married by the age of twenty-five. Or anyone for that matter, not just women. For the first time in what feels like my entire life, I am genuinely, authentically happy with who I am growing to embody and what my life has given me/what is to come. I refuse to give that up to fit an outdated “standard.”
