Beautifully Nuanced
The moment we begin to compare ourselves to others is the exact moment we begin to reject ourselves.
Underlying a majority of one’s insecurities is comparison. We often focus on what we don’t have aside from others. This can be anything from physical appearance, characteristics to a personality, material possessions, etc., etc.
For some time now, I was perplexed on the topic of comparisons. I couldn’t wrap my head around how you could possibly compare two things intended to be distinct. Comparisons seemed more of an illusion to me than anything.
But then I was shown a different perspective of comparisons using Headspace (I can’t recommend this app enough!):
I don’t remember the instructor’s exact words, but it was something along the lines of: “Comparisons are as looking at two different trees planted next to another, not depicting what is evidently different between the two, but narrowing a focus on the space existing between.”
We are focused on the gap between ourselves and others; the space that creates our differences. We’re not looking at what’s different, but why we’re different, and that drives us to a place of self-rejection as we begin to feel as if we’re not enough.
Whatever we place our focus on in our minds becomes accentuated; this is how our values are determined. If we continuously focus on the space that separates us from others, we begin to value a warped and narrowed perspective of ourselves and lives as a whole. We will tend to believe that there is only one “right” way to appear, be, or live. With this concrete way of thought, we will never be up to par of this illusioned “standard” we’ve created.
I can go on and on about how important self-love and acceptance is, which it is, but having that relationship with yourself takes time and understanding. It all begins, though, with what we choose to focus on and create as our values.
Noticing differences is almost automatic the moment we realize there is any present, but we get to choose what to do with that information — reeling into the space of comparison or simply acknowledging and appreciating the intended differences.
