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Becoming a Full Tree
“The desire to know your own soul will end all other desires.” — Rumi
From my experience, when one doesn’t know themselves, they tend to search for the answers through the distorted perception of others. They allow the words, beliefs, and opinions of others in as they accept them as their own.
When self-help became the new up and coming way of growth, I devoured every word, every notion, piece of advice, and all else in between as if the first meal, and I was starved.
This went on for years, which I am forever grateful for, for I am nowhere near who I used to be, and that itself should be enough. Though, I never saw it as such, as I continuously ate the words and advice of others to indefinitely strive to be the undeniable perfect version of the self.
Even when I knew perfection to be an illusion, I still attempted at grasping the impossible — ambition in excess is often something I am familiar with.
I never took a moment to simply be; my focus was merely on the prize of illusioned perfection, which made me crumble at every critique-toned word of others.
I was trying, why couldn’t people see that?
I was trying…so hard, possibly too hard that I lost myself in a false self that merely existed in my own daze.
